Honey See Honey Do

The following is a public service announcement (in other words it lacks in funny...)

I'm not doing this because of the court mandated community service that I'm to do as a result of being caught dealing Charlie Sheen on the street corner downtown. No, I want a new drug (cue Huey Lewis here).

It's the time of year when I'm gonna say to "Eat Your Honey" - but I don't mean it in the way that the fat, middle age, wannabe biker dude means it when he has that printed on a t-shirt at a beach shop. I'm talking health, here. And since I am definitely lacking in that department at this minute - I figure that a sensible lecture will do us all some good.

I'm an allergy sufferer - have been my whole life. As a kid they used to tell me that I would grow out of it some day. I'm starting to wonder if I'll die of old age first (course that would solve the allergy problem). I went through years of allergy shots and have taken just about every allergy medication that has been put on the market and made millions for the drug companies while overcharging me and either having little effect or making me gain weight.

About three years ago, my hairdresser noticed that I was starting to suffer from the pollen explosion that had just taken place - you might know the kind where all of the cars are suddenly yellow and the springtime in the air is literally sending small particles into your eyeballs. My hairdresser is hysterically funny and probably one of the kindest souls I have ever had the privilege of knowing, however I don't think his license to practice the beautification arts qualifies him to dole out medical advice.

He looked at me and said, in his slow southern drawl, "Honey, you need to eat your honey." He continued, "I eat it every day." Okay, what the hell is he talking about with me?

He goes on to tell me that I must eat several spoonfuls of local honey every day and that it will cure my allergy problem. Did they teach him this at cosmetology school? What kind of crackpot idea is this ? Being that I truly adore the man - I go home to the source of all medical knowledge - Google.

Sho nuf. There are lots of entries about various successes with this practice. I figure what have I got to lose? I love honey anyway. So we ventured out to find local honey. That is the important part. You want honey from your homey honeybees. They are the ones eating the pollen that you are allergic to. The honey in those cute bears that are carried at the chain stores probably comes from Chinese bees. And while I like me some honey chicken from the local Chinese restaurant, this isn't what will work.

We found local honey at two places near our home - one is a farm stand and the other is an herb farm. Within two weeks of trying it I was having no more allergic symptoms. I've been allergy medicine free since then.

So, when your eyes start itching and your throat gets dry just go eat your honey. You'll be glad you did...so will your honey.