Saturday, June 23, 2012

30 Days of Writing - Stiletto Heels

I don't wear high heels as I am too much of a klutz. My gene pool took a soaking from a syndrome which has given me hypermobility in my joints. Basically it means "me fall down go boom." After suffering from multitudes of sprained and dislocated joints, I have learned that my place is near the ground, really low near the ground.

That hasn't kept me completely out of the shoe store, however. I had exactly ZERO, yes zero pairs of shoes after our fire (quick, somebody get Nicky a drink). A neighbor gave me some plastic flip flops to wear that night as I left the house barefoot, and since then I have slowly been rebuilding a rather nice collection as needed. I did buy one pair that could be considered stiletto heels.


I guess the experts (Nicky and Linda) can weigh in on if the heels are truly high enough. I have worn this pair of shoes once and I thought afterwards that I really should just cut my feet off as they were never going to be functional again.

Last year for my birthday my mother presented me with these little "gems" that she had bought to wear to a wedding.


They, in her world, are a foot taller heel than she should ever put on. My mother also possesses the grace and balance of a drunk one-legged ostrich. As soon as she stood up to see how her shoes looked with her outfit, she fell out of them and broke her foot. So, what does she do? She gives me her killer shoes. She must really care about me, no? I'm sorry, but they are headed to Goodwill. I've heard that there is just no possible reform once a shoe has taken on a killer instinct and they aren't gonna get me.


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This 30 Days of Writing Challenge is brought to you courtesy of Nicky and Mike. They managed to convince a bunch of us to play along. If you want to read more cheesy posts, check out the ramblings of the crazy gang listed on the Linky thing at the latest post at We Work for Cheese.

12 comments:

  1. Ha! That made me laugh about your grandma giving you killer shoes. I do love heels myself, but if you've spet most of your life wearing flats then it would be hard to get your feet accustomed to it. I like the heels you bought~

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  2. Probably makes Ice skating real fun... ;)

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  3. I hate high heels. will not wear them. they hurt. why do so many women wear the freakin' things? it's like volunteering to be crippled.

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  4. I'm with ellen abbott. Me no likey spikey!

    But whatchoo gonna do?

    I'm no birkenstock chick either.

    No offense, but those things are fugly.

    heh heh

    I just wear my comfy tennies or flip-flops. Such a shoe fashionista I yam. heh heh

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  5. In the spring Mrs. C. and I have a habit of driving downtown to the local marina, a restaurant hot spot and mecca for high school seniors on prom night. We love sitting on a bench and watching as dozens of young couples parade by in their fancy duds. We always chuckle at the girls trying to walk in heels for the first time, wobbling about like they're on stilts. Young women just aren't trained to walk on heels anymore, and I can't help but wonder how they expect to dance in those things.

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  6. glad our found your blog. wish i had the stamina for a 30 day writers challenge or even the material. great writing. i would love for you to visit my blog.
    http://www.blackinkpaperie.blogspot.com

    thanks
    new follower bev
    ps i'm mom to a special needs child

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  7. I think, maybe I was fortunate to have grown up when I did. Stilettos were not considered particularly fashionable in the 60's/70's here in the UK, so I could be very chic in my flats. Now, it seems the youngsters are expected to don stilettos again. Poor girls ;)

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  8. Okay, it took me a while to manage a comment. First, I had to have a drink at the idea of you having NO shoes at all 8does another shot* and then I had to down an entire bottle of Vodka at the sight of those things - calling them shoes would be a disservice to shoes everywhere - your mother gave you. I do like the black ones you bought and I think they qualify. :-)

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  9. They look like snake shoes, so that explains everything. :)

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  10. "the grace and balance of a drunk one-legged ostrich" THAT'S ME! LOLOL!

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  11. The klutz club is growing in numbers. I'm also a card carrying member. Gotta watch out for those killer shoes. Ha! I've got several on the rack in my closet. I guess that's a form of shoe torture.

    I'm so sorry about the fire. My husband and I watched our neighbor's house burn down to the ground. We watched them run out the door with their kids. They just got out with the shirts on their backs. The most priceless items: family pictures, kids' hand prints, etc. were lost.

    The neighborhood put together a collection to help them get back on their feet (since we're talking about shoes). It took them three years to rebuild their house and now have a beautiful home.

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  12. "My mother also possesses the grace and balance of a drunk one-legged ostrich. As soon as she stood up to see how her shoes looked with her outfit, she fell out of them and broke her foot."

    I'm sorry she broke her foot - but the way you wrote that has me cracking up. And I'm with you. FLATS for me!

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