Taking One for the Team

If you were the one person who read my earliest posts, I thank you and you know that we are in the process of working through developing accommodations for my daughter (who has complicated health problems) with her school. It is a time and brain-cell consuming process. Last week my daughter took one for the team in order to make the process go more smoothly for us. She is SO considerate! We had a meeting scheduled for Friday, and on Thursday I got this call on my cell phone from an unfamiliar number as I had just started my grocery shopping:

Me: "Hello...this is Me."
Principal : "Hello. This is Mr.Serious Principal. I'm here with the nurse who wants to speak to you."
Okay now panic has taken over my brain and most of my internal organs have temporarily shut down in preparation for their imminent explosion. I quickly scan the aisle I'm on for any sign of Depends or large Pampers.
Wonderful Nurse: "Hi Me, it's Wonderful Nurse, (we are on a first name basis as she calls me pretty much weekly - just not with the principal). Everything is fine (uh-oh, that means it is NOT fine), but Her Royal Cuteness has fallen down."
Weird, I'm thinking, falling down isn't normally a phone-call worthy catastrophe. Her Royal Cuteness is a total klutz, though. Still thinking...
Me: "Uh-huh."
Wonderful: "She sort of passed out in the classroom and fell, but didn't hit her head or anything."
Her Royal Cuteness in the background : "Yes, I did, I hit my head."
Wonderful: "Oh, well then when you come get her you should definitely take her to see a doctor."

It happened like this. My daughter, knowing that she felt BAD, got up to ask the teacher if she could go to the clinic.
Her Royal Cuteness: "May I go to the clinic?"
Responsive Teacher: "Hold on. I'll be with you in a minute."
Her Royal Cuteness: "I really need to go to the..." Collapse to floor.

This type of incident means that the school goes into full def com-3, red alert mode, calling out the entire administrative staff, security guard, marching band, and the TSA screening team.

After the call, I quickly text the doctor on my way to the car, speed to the school, and find her in the clinic - resting, weepy, and with a FAT LIP. Although, Responsive Teacher was quick to report to all involved that she didn't hear my child hit her head on anything. My first question to my sweet child was naturally, "Did you break anything when you fell? ...The floor, the desk, the wall, are they all okay?" Nothing was broken, sense of humor was still intact, so I took her home.

We visited her doctor and with our impressively wicked combined senses of humor, decided that her lack of consciousness was a complete stroke of genius and would immobilize the enemy at the next day's meeting. She attended the meeting, proudly displaying her fat lip, and prepared to lead our team into battle. The round table tag-team bout went relatively well, and nobody fainted or was knocked out. When asked about the "episode", Her Royal Cuteness had the following replies at the ready:

"I wanted to test the school's emergency activation system."

"You teachers aren't in ballet class, but I wanted to keep you on your toes."

or my personal favorite, and the one that makes me think they are going to call Child Protective Services any day now:

"I might fall down again, but I plan to hit the other side of my head so that my lip gets evened out."

For our next meeting-go-round I'm hoping that her accommodations can be written to state that if she asks to go to the clinic again, Responsive Teacher will be required to give her a piggy back ride. Think that's too pushy?