Too Pooped to Pop

I just got in from walking his majesty. I didn't wear my new cute shoes. Why you may ask? Go on. Ask why.

I didn't want to defile my pretty new soles by stepping in some other dog's poo. Yep, it's a post about poo, so quit reading if doggie poop gives you the willies.

At our home, I could have walked the dog naked. That's because walking the dog involved opening the back door. He had a nice fenced yard there to hang out and do his thing. But here in the apartment away from home, we must prepare for the great outdoors by getting fully dressed, donning our winter layers, and then venturing down three flights of stairs.

His highness must be on a leash, and here comes the best part - we get to bag his poop. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for avoiding spreading bacteria and other yucky things that are lurking in my dog's lower intestine. Our apartment complex is very much pro-poop-pickup, and they have placed doggie poop receptacles strategically around the campus. These specialized trash cans come complete with baggies and even pictorial and written instructions for their use. I'm not sure what idiot couldn't figure out the proper way to use a bag, but they must be related to the ones that need the warning: "this bag is not a toy."

My husband and I religiously pick up after our dog, even by flashlight at night. The problem is that other dog slaves who live here are not as well trained as we are. It seems that there is an inversely proportional relationship in effect here. The bigger the dog and the bigger the poop, the less likely that it will be picked up and properly disposed. There are some rather large dogs living here and some of the grassy zones are reminiscent of mine fields.

The kind folks in the rental office recently delivered notices to all apartments letting us know that poop-littering will not be tolerated and anyone caught leaving their dog's doodle on the ground will be fined $25 per occurrence. I find this rather amusing. Who is going to lurk in the bushes so that they can catch you in the act of ignoring the rules? If they really want action, they should give the $25 to the person who catches an offending party. I'd gladly sit on the balcony and take pictures of the perpetrators if I could get paid.

In order to stop this nuisance to society they are going to need to start DNA testing all of the dogs and the evidence - easily obtained from the soles of my (not new) dog walking shoes.


2/19/11 An Addendum:
Thanks to Cake Betch, I looked up DNA poop testing. There actually is a company that has stooped to poop. The PooPrints (TM) system (detection agency?) really exists and for a measly $29.95 will register your doggies swabbings. Step right up with that swab and be the first bite victim (just start calling yourself "Lefty" now). Then for a mere $49.95 they will test a "sample" to determine "ownership." I still think a nightvision camera and paying me the $25 is the way to go! - mom