Anything for a Laugh...

Last night for dinner I ate potato chips, Diet Dr. Pepper, Oreos, and malted milk balls and I think that it may have created a chemical imbalance in my system. My family had other somewhat nutritious food.

After "dinner" we went to a local mega-furniture store to buy a bed for Favorite Son and mattresses for all of us.

Her Royal Cuteness was not too jazzed about picking a mattress. They are all uncomfortable to her because of her chronic pain. So, while we tried to work with the salesman to help her select one that we thought would be most appropriate, she held fast to her claim that they all hurt.

Sensing a tidal wave of stubbornness on the horizon, I, in my chemically altered state, sought a bribe to ease the tension.

I have been know to attempt crazy things to get my kids to work with me. When they were younger and tried a new food, I would do a new food dance regardless of if we were in a public place or at home in the kitchen. It worked, so I went with it. If I tried it now they would probably crawl under the table or run screaming from the room.

Getting desperate, I started joking about always wanting to jump from mattress to mattress all over the place. We asked the salesman if that would be a problem, and he mistakenly said "no." I don't know if it was selective male hearing but, here we go, now the cat is out of the bag. So, thinking positively, I tell Her Royal Cuteness that I'll flip on one of the mattresses if she finds one that she likes.

We test a bunch for her, pick one, and then move on to one for Hubby and me. That testing was a little tame as they really don't go for customers having a full test drive in public and at the mention of it HRC started fake gagging  So, we settled for rolling around and fake snoring on several different styles and brands.

I really got to the point that I couldn't tell the difference between our final choices and left hubby to test a few on his own with the salesman in tow.

It is at that time when HRC remembers my "promise" that I really said as a joke. Don't forget, I'm high on sugar and artificial ingredients. She starts to nag and protest, so being the great mom that I am, I ask the salesman if I can deliver on my promise. He tells me to go ahead (selective hearing again?).

I kick my shoes off and climb up on a soft memory foam cloud of luxury (figuring that when I bust my ass missing, I'll land comfortably). HRC is cheering me on and laughing with joy so I jump up and flip over to land on the next bed. She keeps cheering and laughing and before long, I have flipped five times and am sitting in a dizzied state on the last one in the row.

It is at this point in time that the salesman tells me that there are video cameras all up over the area and I have just been filmed in all of my middle age glory flipping upside down like a complete idiot. The store manager then makes a rapid appearance to see what kind of party we are having or if he needs to call the police. He didn't even get close enough to me to ask what I was doing. I guess that my gymnastic ability had him stunned and he was keeping his distance out of respect and admiration.

Hubby has missed the entire episode and when he appears, HRC gets me to do it some more - during which time Hubby films it on his phone.

I know that Hubby won't figure out how to post that video anywhere; he can't even watch it replay without HRC's help. But according to the salesman the store videos get sent to their corporate offices. I'm now probably going to end up on youtube or with my face posted at the door to the store so that I can be refused entry.

My head still feels like I have Jello Jigglers for brains, but was worth it just to have my daughter laugh...