30 Days of Writing - Excess

I ate a fiber bar early today
it's supposed to keep my bowels in play
what the label didn't tell me
was that the gas would overwhelm me

It's given me pain within my tummy
and the excess gas sure isn't funny
I feel like a balloon about to pop
oh please dear lord just make it stop

I'm walking slowly towards the can
hoping that there is a fan
with each step I clench my buns
surely that will stop the runs

But with each time I move my foot
my butt gives out a little "pfft"
I've got the "walking farts" for sure
and for that there is one cure

Tears fill my eyes and blur my vision
but I'm a person on a mission
I burst right through the bathroom door
and avert my eyes down to the floor

I hurry to the stall to sit
and let the gas out for a bit
the sound echoes across the room
I hope I alone share in this gloom

Then a snicker fills the air
someone is laughing and they don't care
my gaseous explosion is fair game
I hope they do not know my name

Holding head high I leave the stall
I'm not embarrassed, not at all
until I leave the room and see
the entire department staring at me

For in my hurry to air it out
I made a mistake there is no doubt
I've just left the men's room for all to see
when the lady's room is where I should be.


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This 30 Days of Writing Challenge is brought to you courtesy of Nicky and Mike. They managed to convince a bunch of us to play along. If you want to read more cheesy posts, check out the ramblings of the crazy gang listed on the Linky thing at the latest post at We Work for Cheese.